The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
