it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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