i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
