So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
pray to the hookup gods
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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