My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
