I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have fence marks all over my body
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
