There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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