I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
