I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
