i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
