My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
