So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
