my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
