This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
