I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
