Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
