she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
