u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
