did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
