Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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