Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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