Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
