we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
