she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
