well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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