Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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