Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Are we still banned from the library?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
