i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
