the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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