And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
