beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
