Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
