yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
