I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
