My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
