He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
