new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
