is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You ruined the universe
Randomize
