She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
