In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
