Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
