wanna go halves on a baby?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
