Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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