Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
