That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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