...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
