Have you finally orgasmed yet?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
