Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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