Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
