Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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