the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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