it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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